THE QUOTABLE MR. MIKE
Michael O'Donoghue (1942-1994) was one of the more creative minds behind the magazine National Lampoon and the television show Saturday Night Live (before it lost its edge). He died of a massive cerebral hemorrhage, the electrical discharge of which, according to his wife, generated light behind his eyeballs. It was a sadly appropriate end to a manically creative life.
Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy.
Life is not for everybody.
It's not enough to tickle the ribs. Now you must drive an ice pick into the brain pan. Did I say "an ice pick?" I meant "nine hundred ice picks," of course.
What you really want in life you get stuck with.
The only difference between television and a lava lamp is that television has slightly better audio.
Life is one big minefield, and the only place that isn't a minefield is the place they make the mines.
Living well and ripping your enemy's still-beating heart out with your bare hands is the best revenge.
I don't think television will ever be perfected until the viewer can press a button and cause whoever is on the screen's head to explode.
I jog, I work out at the gym, I lift weights. I study the martial arts, judo. I shoot my pistol at a target range. I keep prepared, because there's no question: a social upheaval is coming eventually. Somebody's going to organize the lower classes, the blacks, the workers. And when they come charging up my lawn past my swimming pool in Beverly Hills, they've got no way of knowing I'm a Marxist.
I like my women the way I like my eggs -- loose and scrambled.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life ... and already you've fucked it up.
I was there the morning John [Belushi] died. He was lying on the floor of his bungalow. When I tried to revive him, the big guy opened his eyes and whispered, "Dope is for dopes." And then he died. It was the last thing he ever said. I took his wallet and left.
You only live once, and usually not even then.
Source: Dennis Perrin, Mr. Mike: The Life and Work of Michael ODonoghue (New York: Avon Books, 1998)