The science of gift-giving
You’ve spent weeks planning the perfect gift for your significant other. But when the time comes, they are less than thrilled with what they have received.
This feeling of disappointment is known as the “gift gap.” And thanks to the work of a team of researchers including University of Texas at Arlington Professor of Marketing Traci Freling, there is a science to avoiding it.
“Sometimes you get it wrong, despite the fact that you have the very best of intentions,” Freling said. “How do you know what the right gift is, where it’s exactly what the receiver wants as well as one that you’ll feel happy about giving?”
Inspiration to explore the gift gap struck Freling on Christmas Eve in 2022, when she was visiting family and discussing that disappointed feeling a giver has when a gift isn’t received the way the giver hoped. She and her coauthor reviewed nearly 30 papers to examine all types of gift-giving situations, including the characteristics of the gifts themselves, occasions that warrant gift-giving and what the reactions were.
Their review of the literature revealed that the gift gap emerges most strongly when someone opens the gift in front of the giver, and the recipient displays an underwhelming reaction. The gap also frequently exists when a gift giver tries to give something meant to be sentimental.
“That can actually be risky because the giver puts a ton of thought and sentimentality into getting the exact right gift,” she said. “Research shows that the recipients don’t always value it as highly as givers want them to.”
When it comes to lowering that gift gap, Freling recommends taking the risk out of the equation and going for a more experiential gift, such as a date or a nice bottle of champagne that a couple can drink together during a special outing.
“For example, if I take you for drinks for your birthday, you’re going to value it more than if I get you a tie,” she said. “You don’t necessarily want the material gift, but rather the experience with the person.”
You can always go the more practical route such as a gift card to a favorite place to eat. It may be boring, but Freling said that it’s preferable to something sentimental that may miss the mark.
“A gift card for a meal at a restaurant can be a better gift than a bouquet of roses,” she said.
So in the end, does the perfect gift exist? Freling said there is one specific way to eliminate the gift gap.
“A self-gift,” she said “Me giving myself a gift, because only I know exactly what I want. Then it’s perfect.”